How Angel Shut Up and Learned to Love OTH
by southernbangel
Summary: Angel is forced to watch the love story of Nathan/Haley unfold.


This is. . . well, something fun and silly I wrote because it made me laugh. My two greatest fandom loves are Buffy/Angel from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and Nathan/Haley from _One Tree Hill_. Because I amuse myself _waaaaaay_ too easily, I decided to write a fic featuring Buffy/Angel discussing Nathan/Haley. I have plans for a loose sequel, only featuring Nathan/Haley discussing Buffy/Angel. It's not meant to be a serious fic, but if you find even a tenth as amusing as I did, well, awesomesauce.

Disclaimer: Not mine (not that anyone would want to claim this other than me).

* * *

"Are you seriously watching this show _again_?"

Buffy glanced up at Angel, leaning against the door frame of their bedroom, a look of incredulity marking his features. She scowled at him, her green eyes flashing with irritation that yet again, he was disturbing her during her favorite show.

"Angel," she said, attempting to hide the annoyance she clearly felt, "what is the _one_ rule in our relationship?"

"No more Spike boning?"

She swore her face almost collapsed, so severe was her scowl. Ever since Angel had turned human, he thought he was such a comedian. The mention of her previous relationship with Spike would have sent Vampire Angel into a frothing fit of jealous rage (which never failed to turn her on -- not that she ever told him that because it was wrong to be so turned on by such a Neanderthal reaction), but Human Angel merely found it amusing. When she asked him why, he merely pulled her close and told her he no longer had any need to be jealous because he was the one who got to enjoy delicious Buffy-cookie goodness. Which yeah, sweet (although she hated him using her lame analogy. Wasn't he supposed to be good with words? At least better than her?), but sometimes she missed the jealousy and threats to rip Spike's arms off for daring to touch what was Angel's.

Normally, Angel making a joke (or attempting to) would leave her in a fit of giggles—not because of the joke itself (which was usually lame), but because it was more evidence of just how happy he was, they were. But now, now was the not the time for jokes.

"Very funny, Mr. Rickles," she retorted, turning her attention to the television, afraid she had missed something. Oh good, just a commercial.

"No more trying-to-lose-my-soul-by-sleeping-with-Darla?"

Buffy turned her head so fast, she thought she heard her spine crack, only to find Angel grinning at her, his eyes dancing with the laughter he barely suppressed. "Okay, are you _trying_ to never have sex with me again? Because let me tell you, buddy, it's working. Oh, is it working."

She had to fight a smirk at the way his face crumpled at her threat. Score one for Buffy. Not that she would ever deny him sex—please, she wasn't a glutton for punishment—but his reaction never failed to amuse her.

"No witty comeback, Angel?"

"Okay, _maybe_ I crossed the line, but c'mon, you have to admit it was funny!"

She rolled her eyes. Angel had many excellent qualities—intelligence beyond measure, the most compassionate soul she had ever known, a dynamo in the sack, handsome as sin, but being funny was not one of them.  
"I'll admit it was funny when you admit the creative genius behind this show," Buffy retorted.

Angel snorted and she grinned. Check and mate to Buffy.

"Now shut up or go away because it's coming back from commercial," she told him, waving her hand in his direction in her patented "leave me alone because I'm watching my favorite show right now and if you bother me AGAIN I will kill you" way.

Unfortunately, Angel ignored her and walked into their bedroom, none too gently shoving her aside in order to sit on the bed. She shot him a glare and settled onto her side of the bed, making sure to get in an "accidental" jab to his ribs as she did so. Childish, yes, but he was interrupting her during her show! She was allowed to get a little petty.

"Okay, if you're going to sit in here you have to be quiet," she said, her attention focused on the television. She held up a hand to cut off his protest. "I mean it, Angel, or so help me, I will throw you out of this room. _I_ still have my supernatural strength, remember?"

"Rub it in, why don't you?" he muttered under his breath and she bit back a grin.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Buffy swept up in the story, Angel rolling his eyes at the absurdity of the plotlines.

"Keep rolling your eyes at me, buddy, and they may stick that way."

"How did you see me? You're not even _looking_ at me," Angel grumbled.

"Do you think I have to see you with my eyes to know what's going on with you?"

There was a moment of stunned silence until Angel turned to Buffy, a look of disbelief mixed with a hint of shame on his face. "Did you seriously just quote that stupid show to me?"

Was it her fault that quotes from _One Tree Hill _could apply to most any situation?

"What do you mean 'stupid show'? And how did you know that quote unless you've watched the show?" Buffy questioned him, all thought of watching the program disappearing in the wake of such a grievous insult to her beloved show. "And excuse me, this show is NOT stupid. In fact, it's the farthest thing from stupid! It's. . . it's. . . it's. . . god, Angel, you don't understand _anything_," she yelled, irritation evident in her voice.

"What don't I understand about this show, Buffy? That it's lame? I think I got that one. That they repeat plotlines constantly? Picked that up right away. That they have more drama happening to this group of friends than could ever be considered normal? Not hard to figure out. That you are obsessed with that dark-haired _boy_? I think you moaning his name in your sleep clued me in. That you cry over the couple that got married in _high school_? Please, Buffy, _Spike_ watches better trash than this."

Oh, it was _on_.

She rose to her knees, every inch the fearsome Slayer demons knew her to be, leaned in close to Angel, her lips mere inches from him, and whispered, "Let's do this."

"Do what?" Angel grinned as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Not that, perv," Buffy sniped, irritated beyond measure. First, he interrupted her doing _One Tree Hill_, _then_ he insulted the show but worst of all, he dared to bring James Lafferty into it as well? She hadn't whipped Angel's ass in quite awhile (aside from the other night in their bedroom but she certainly wasn't going to think of _that_ right now). She was itching for a good fight and Angel was asking for it.

Seriously, he insulted Nathan and Haley! Buffy could not let that stand.

Leaping over him, Buffy shot Angel a glare when he made a move to follow her. "You, you sit right there. You can insult the show, but buddy, when you make fun of Nathan and Haley, you are asking for it," she said as she walked out of the room.

Racing downstairs to the living room, she grabbed the DVD box-sets from the bookshelf before heading back to their bedroom. She was going to show him how awesome Nathan and Haley were, even if she had to hog-tie him to the bed and force him to watch. Entering the bedroom, she found Angel still sitting on the bed, changing channels.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she yelled as she ran to the bed and tried to grab the remote from his hand. "The show is on! You don't change channels during _One Tree Hill_!"

Argh, men!

Angel laughed as Buffy tried to wrestle him for the remote. Holding his arm toward her side of the bed, he managed to keep it from her as he continued to flip channels. When she looked back on this moment, Buffy knew she would not be proud of herself (okay, maybe a _little_, she would) but desperate times called for desperate measures. Punching him (lightly) in the stomach, she grabbed the remote from Angel's hand as he instinctively brought his arms closer to ward off any further attack.

"Damnit, Buffy," he groaned as he rolled to his side, a look of pain creasing his brow.

Buffy felt a smidge of guilt surface, but it was quickly erased as Angel flipped over with a grin and pulled her underneath him, somehow securing the remote in his grasp once again. Oooh, that fink!

"You are so lucky we have Tivo," she muttered as she watched him gleefully change channels, his body weight pinning her to the bed. In any other situation, their positioning would lead to more pleasurable activities, and Angel obviously recognized this as he pressed her further into the mattress, his arousal rubbing deliciously against her center.

"What do you say we turn this off and I show you glad I am we have Tivo," he whispered as he leaned down to press a kiss to her jaw line. He continued his ministrations along her neck, stopping to gently nip at the rough skin of her scar.

Getting lost in the sensation, Buffy craned her neck to the side, encouraging his exploration, when she happened to glance at the television and noticed Angel had stopped on the CW. Her show was back! Shoving him off her, she sat up, ignoring his cry of protest, and swatted him when he tried to pull her back to the bed. She was about to find out who Deb was meeting at the bar. No way was she missing that!

"Sometimes I think you love this show more than me," Angel grumbled as he sat next to her.

"I do. Now be quiet."

Miraculously, Angel was silent for the remainder of the episode (aside from a few snorts of disbelief). Once the show ended, Buffy turned to him, laughing when she saw the pout on his face.

"Cheer up, Angel. Once you watch the first season, you'll understand how great this show is."

Whipping his head toward her, the look of utter shock on his face sent Buffy into hysterics. "What do you mean, when I watch the first season? Buffy, I'm not watching _any_ of it! I have standards, you know!"

"No, you don't," she laughed. "You watch _Rock of Love_, for goodness sake."

"Because I happen to enjoy it as a microcosm of the futile attempt of finding love when placed into an emotionally heightened, fantasy-induced situation," he explained.

"You _enjoy_ seeing Playmates strip down and make out with each other to impress some 80s has-been," was Buffy's quick retort.

"Like you don't enjoy this stupid show because your TV boyfriend is half-naked all the time?" Angel shot back defensively.

"Never said I didn't. In fact, that is one of the main reasons I love it so much," she said as she moved off the bed toward the DVD box-sets she had dropped earlier in her mad dash to prevent Angel from switching channels.

"What are you doing?" Angel eyed her suspiciously.

"Got it," Buffy exclaimed as she stood up holding a box-set, a triumphant grin on her face. "You, my wonderful, utterly clueless husband, are going to watch the love story of Nathan and Haley unfold."

"No, I am not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I am _not_."

"Yes, yes, you are."

"No."

"Do you ever want to have sex again?"

Angel sighed, utterly defeated. "You know, one day I'll hold you to that and then, you'll be punishing yourself as well."

"I never said anything about me not having sex again, just you," Buffy tossed over her shoulder as she put in a DVD and pressed play. Jumping onto the bed, she snuggled up beside him, grabbing the remote before he could make a move. "Cheer up, baby, you're going to enjoy this, I promise."

He rolled his eyes at her assertion. "About as much as I enjoyed having hot pokers shoved in my side."

"Yes, well, that could be easily arranged if you don't stop complaining. Okay, first things first. You need to know the basic premise of the show. Lucas Scott was rais—"

"Really, Buffy? Won't the show explain it all?" he interrupted.

"—raised by his mother, Karen Roe," she continued without missing a beat. "Nathan Scott, the star player on Tree Hill's basketball team, is his half-brother. Dan Scott is their dad and he is such a bastard. He even shot—oops, can't spoil you!"

"Like I care."

"Shut. Up. Anyway, Lucas is best friends with Haley, who I at first thought had some kind of Joey-loves-Dawson crush on Lucas, but then she meets Nathan—oh, she agrees to tutor Nathan to keep him from hazing Lucas on the basketball team—and it's totally clear that she and Nathan are meant to be," Buffy rambled as she scrolled through the menu to select an episode. "Nathan is dating Peyton, a broody, woe-is-me cheerleader, but he's a real jackass to her—"

"So why does Haley like the jackass?"

"Stop interrupting. And it's because he opens up to her, shows Haley the real Nathan. She makes him want to be a better man. And seriously, Angel, once you see it, you'll understand. Okay, do you want to watch the show from the beginning, or just watch the really important Nathan and Haley, or Naley, scenes?"

"Uhm, neither?"

"Okay, from the beginning it is."

"Wait," he said as he reached for the remote. "How many episodes are there?" He glanced at the numerous box-sets on the floor.

"Over a hundred, I don't know the exact number. Hey, don't give me that look! You brought this on yourself when you insulted the show."

"Could I take you up on the 'no sex ever again' threat now?" he asked hopefully.

"How many operas have you forced me to attend? How many art exhibits have we seen? I say we're even, buddy," Buffy argued as the show began, momentarily distracting her. "Ooo, it's on, Angel," she squealed in excitement.

"I was trying to enrich your life, not rot your brain with mindless entertainment," Angel bit out.

"Okay, _Rock of Love_ boy."

"Buffy, can we please tal—wait, who is that?" He pointed to a female character wearing an a ridiculously ugly poncho.

Buffy grinned. "That's Haley."

"She's prett—"

His words were drowned out by Buffy's shriek of joy. "Oh my god, Angel, that's Nathan! Isn't he dreamy?"

"Very," he said, deadpan.

Swatting his shoulder, Buffy curled closer to her husband, entwining one of her hands with his. "Are they not the most adorable couple you've ever seen? Oh, there is a terrific scene with them coming up and you can just tell Nathan is already feeling something for her."

As the episode ended, she glanced at Angel and he looked down at her. "Well, this was fun and all but I really need to do some yard work."

He moved to stand up and Buffy yanked him back down to the bed. "Oh, no you don't, mister. It's raining outside and you have more episodes to watch."

"Buffy," he whined, an adorable pout gracing his lips. "I'm sorry for making fun of this stu—show. I should never have insulted such a fine work of creativity."

"That's right, you shouldn't have, but you're still not getting out of this. Now watch."

Several hours, and more begging from Angel, later, they finished season one. Giving in to his repeated requests, Buffy had fast-forwarded through all the non-Naley scenes, and she noticed as they got further into the season, the less Angel complained. As the last episode ended, the shock of Nathan and Haley's unexpected wedding never getting old for Buffy, she turned to Angel and was shocked to find him furiously blinking back tears.

Score one for Team Buffy.

"Are you crying?" she asked, trying to hide the amusement in her voice. Apparently she wasn't successful because Angel glared down at her.

"No," he lied.

"Liar."

"So what if I am? And how do you know they're not tears of joy because it's over?"

"Because, like it or not, you're a big ol' sap just like I am, and I know you love this pairing, just like I do. I mean, come on, Angel, it's practically our story!"

Barking out a laugh of disbelief, he rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about? They're nothing like us! Buffy, our story isn't some fictional love story put on a television show each week for teenagers to moon over."

Buffy smiled and leaned up to gently kiss his nose. Her husband was so blind sometimes. "Angel, I don't mean that their story is exactly like ours—although ours would make for a _much_ better story, I have to admit—but don't you see it? The whole true love, finding your soulmate, being together against all odds? The 'bad boy who becomes good for the love of a girl'? Please, if that's not us, who is it? Why do you think I love this show so much?"

Even now, years after they reunited, it was still difficult for Buffy to look back on their earlier relationship and not feel an ache. For so long, they had been told that they would never make it, that they were doomed to stay apart, that she was a silly little girl for falling irrevocably in love when she was sixteen years old, that he would bring nothing but pain and heartache to her life. They had even believed it for awhile, until that bright, shiny morning when Angel had shown up at her doorstep with a box of cookies. (He still had not let her live down that lame cookie analogy.)

Before Buffy and Angel had their happily ever after, Nathan and Haley had theirs. From the moment she started watching the show, she was drawn to their story, to the hope it gave her when it seemed like she and Angel were destined to be nothing more than an ill-fated love story.

It didn't hurt that the actor playing Nathan was a tall, dark handsome man much like her husband.

"I get it," Angel admitted, his cheeks pinking slightly from embarrassment. "If I tell you something, will you promise not to hold it over my head?"

"Yes," she vowed as she crossed her fingers.

"The show isn't as stupid as I said, and Nathan and Haley arethebestpairinghandsdown," he mumbled in a rush, although Buffy understand every word.

Moving to straddle him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. The kiss continued for long moments as hands began to wander and tug at various items of clothing. Breaking apart, she pressed her forehead against Angel's and looked into his eyes.

"Angel," she whispered, her breath tickling his lips, "just wait until you watch the second season."

_fin_


End file.
